when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

your mommy so gehto shes black

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -31

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -185

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops