Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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