- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

Penis.

how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

Your Face... It's Beautiful.

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... i love you, you love me He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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