What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Black people

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops