A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Once upon a time

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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