What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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