(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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And more;

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops