What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Robin, get in the car!

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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