Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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Republicans

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops