Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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