Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Get off my porch.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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