A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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a

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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