How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

LIKE THIS!

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

A seal walks into a club...

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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