Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

black people are white when i use night gogles