why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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david poredos

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A Fat Kenyan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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