What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The Joke Below

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

lipstick pig

thumb_up thumb_down -12

death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops