I woke up today

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Y u do dis?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Safe sex MR

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops