Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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