there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yes i can connor, this is brett.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops