What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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