A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What is th edifference between jerry sandusky and mike citro sandusky rapes children... ...and joe diragi is gay

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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My kids are mistakes.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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