A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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