why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops