I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Ebola

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops