What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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eden stop

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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