Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Women

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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no

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops