QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Carrot fingers

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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