Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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#IHateHashtags

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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baskets

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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pudding

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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