What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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The Moon Landing.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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