what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops