how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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My Nan, that is all.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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