whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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;iub

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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no pun intended

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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