What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Bacon is delcious.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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