Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops