why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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