A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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TRICERATOPS!

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops