How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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ur mum

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops