What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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andrew wagner

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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