Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

Do you like apples? Yes

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

Poop!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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