One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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