A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I know you are but what am I? Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

its funny cuz i laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops