being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

Women's Rights.

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

what is brown and wet? Muddy water

I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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