being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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Black...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Women's Rights.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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