A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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