What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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