Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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SNAPPLE!

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Caitlyn.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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