What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops