What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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