There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Buzi vagy!

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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This one time at band camp....

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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to get to the other side.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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