if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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