Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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